...Silly Me...

Just can't believe that I'm still falling for these same mistakes,
I thought I can free my self from this living emotional torture chamber,
well indeed I just can't... I guess I'm just nobody in their eyes... Whatever I do just can't get their attention, even for a second...
I thought Im just being immature to think like that... huh...
What is it wrong with me until the one I cared most in life to not even take a full glimspe at my real life? And am I wanted their attention so much? I didn't get it when I was small?
Everytime I call and projecting my predicaments to them, the only word that they'll say is "OK"...
Then, the sentence about my life is lost in the thick air... and the sentence will be "I'm working right now..."
"Dad, Im having my final exam..."
"Really? Don't worry, you are as usual.. now, can you check the price for the phone that I asked you to?"
"I'm studying..."
"It's for your little brother, don't be selfish, poor him..."
"OK... err Dad... can I get a new..."
"Not now, I'm working, call you later..." *tut..tut..tut...*
yes sir.....

To stop thinking of all immature things like that, I tried to work extra hours,
doing all the things... trying to make myself busy with works,
eventually I love to do these things, they'll make me busy and stop thinking of other things...
working with hot-tempered person yet bossy... I just love it so much... Because nobody ever mad at me like that...
but sometimes, when we trying to protect other people, they just being annoyed with the fact that they are protected, nothing seems to be right...
It hurts me a lot when someone who really willing to sacrifice for me becoming an exhibition 'thing' for the sake of some other people... and I don't want the same things happen to any other of them... Just because it's hard for me to say "NO", doesn't mean that they are the one who should take these unnecessary evils... some said it's ok... "think of the bright said"... maybe you're right...
or maybe I just overprotective? Just because I'd gone throught hell doesn't mean that they don't have to feel the same way? it's a life experience... it's like a training ground to life the future life... what a selfish me.... its my fault to manja-kan them...

All these push and pull, internal and external things, make a person's life interesting. But at the same time, it'll cause you your health... well, it's nothing actually, just don't take in too much thought, scrumbling sehingga you dunno how to susun ayat to talk with people... @.@

Mode:

Walk in the real life, stop fantasying, Angels are not exist to help you...