A Worth livin'

Suddenly, the feelings come back, back to write about life and its contents.
Sorry if sometimes what Joe said will get into your heart but it's just a sensible expression,
not aiming it to particular person.
Well, not much to say about it, since all of us matured already.
This time just wanna share about something new, something different.
It is about the future, another segment that makes life more mysterious.
I used to bear this in mind, I wanted to be a Marine Biology.
But then, was scared if I'm not good enough, not eligible that is.
The biggest nightmare I ever faced was, I got a C5 for biology in my SPM while others were excellent.
Left with a humiliation, I threw away my dream of being what I ever wanted in life.
The moment I chose Biology class for my form 6, people were laughing at me, as if Im not good enough. Pretty sure that time, my confidence was at the lowest stage.
I was a quiet boy, passive with what the academics fed me.
I enjoyed to live a life behind other's shadow, because I know, I'm nobody to be heard.
Still being traumatized by my results.
Not for long, I went into matriculation, a place where nobody knows me.
They put me into physics class. I was about to accept the life that God had arrange for me until one day,
I was very furious when someone insulted my grades. Dared him, I change my course in a week there to Biology class. Im tired of being a nobody. Im tired of being insulted just because I made my mistakes. I just wanna proof to people that I can do it. And in fact, I managed to proof it. People stop laughing at me and started to respect my decisions. But still, my morale boost wasnt for long, my result was getting worse due to my laziness.
Once again, I fail to get into what I want in my life, Forestry. Once again I was down to the floor.
Getting into local university, I got UMK.
At first I was like, confused with my life, confused with what I actually want.
Meeting these 20 people is the best in my life I ever get.
U guys teached me how to go wild, how to be a leader, how to survive alone, how to get mad, how to feel pain, how to face blame, and the most important is that how to be a human.
Bad memories and good memories accumulated, making it a time to remember.
Stuck between two friends' dilemma of not talking to each other for a whole sem,
Listen to an agony heart saying that he's gonna repeat that subject for getting low marks,
Looking at a drastic change from an unhappy girl to a talkative girl,
That was all very memorable.
Maybe some that we did may be wrong but this is time when we learn,
we learn from mistakes, and most of the time, it was because of our unsatisfied desires.
Most of the time, I made mistakes. People may see the good side of me, but not the other side of it.
I cheated Prof Ib about SBH trading just to make him happy instead of me.
I missed my meetings with club because I felt not belonging.
I went to library most of the time just to see girls.
and many more...
I think I changed a lot, from a silent guy to a trouble-maker.
However, used to be very friendly but now, an arrogant person. Some people even think that I'm very boastful.
What to do, Im just an ordinary selfish human.
Maybe after this, I'll change... maybe not being the best but someone better... Instead of blaming other people for my own fault, I'll try to solve it in a modest way...
Maybe you should change too,
and make this life worth to live in.