Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Does it really matter?

The farm house was empty.
Nobody wants to live there because it was dirty and the lawn was full of grasses.
One day, a group of cattle came and lived there, they cleaned the grass but they just can't finish it by themselves. Then, a flock of sheep came and helped to clean the grass. But still, the grasses were too many for them. After that, a herd of goat came and helped. They managed to make the area a better place for living. The farm house became crowded with these ruminants and far better than it was before. However, the herd size of the other two ruminants was a little bit larger than the cattle's herd when combined. The cattle scared that they will lose their rights to own the place as the dominant group of the farm house. So they invited a group of duck and chicken to the house. The duck and the chicken were happy with the offer because they need a place to shelter from the treacherous environment. They fully supported the cattle and willing to do anything to help them. Now the cattle are happy, they are dominant with the support from the farm birds.

With their collaboration and hardworking together, the animals managed to make the farm house a beautiful place. This has made the other animals who lived in the jungle became jealous for what the farm animals did together. The jungle animals tried to poison the mindset of the cattle by saying that the farm house is supposed to be solely owned by the cattle since they were the first to came. Moreover, the house will not fit all the animals especially the goats and the sheeps since they are very fecund compared to the cattle. Undoutbly, they are just immigrants. The grass land will be depleted as well and there will be not enough food for the ruminants.

The cattle were remained silence. They didn't want to create chaos in the farm house since it is already a beautiful place to live right now. But in their heart, they keep thinking about what the jungle animals told them before. The other ruminants, goats and sheeps came to know about the secret meeting and the cattle's agendas, became very disappointed. After what they did together to build the farm house, they are still being treated as immigrants even though it is already more than 50 months they are together. But luckily, the farm birds are not affected, maybe because they are harmless and only go with the flow of the play. The harmonious ambience of the house shattered when one day, one of the cattle quarreled with one of the goats over a delicious green grass. The goat was trying to pick the grass and share it with the boastful bull leader when the bull involuntary said: "This is my place, we are the one who came first to this place, I'm free to do what I like and I don't share anything with small animal like you, if you don't like what I said, you can go back to the jungle and being native again." The goat was sad, heart-broken and wished it never came to that place in the first place. But what to do, it was helpless. The other animals were mad at the vain bull and he answered the same to them.

The farm house used to be very happening with laughters and cries now became cold and gloomy. The residents are there but being protective over their own rights of who is the first and who should be gone and so on and so forth... Now only left the farm birds, pecking on the ground and doing their own things, happy as usual and seemed to be not bothered by the foolish quarrel of the ruminants. For them, who cares about who came first to this place, the only thing matters here is that who made this place a better place to live. Is it the cattle? Is it the goats and the sheeps or Is it the farm birds? And the funny thing is that, everyone knows the answer for this question but they just blinded by their hunger of who being the best in the farm house.

Chickelicious family~

P/s: Think before you jump (duck), Think before you talk (human), you may think that you're a hero, but think about the consequences you made, maybe you get credits but the effects maybe self-destructing.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

The biggest element of life


Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love."

And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them.

And with a great voice he said:

When love beckons to you follow him,

Though his ways are hard and steep.

And when his wings enfold you yield to him,

Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

And when he speaks to you believe in him,

Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.

Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,

So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.

He threshes you to make you naked.

He sifts you to free you from your husks.

He grinds you to whiteness.

He kneads you until you are pliant;

And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,

Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,

Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;

For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."

And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;

To return home at eventide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

The poem above is about "LOVE" in the book - The Prophet by Khalil Gibran.

If you still don't understand what is life's all about, just think of one - LOVE. We, selfish human no matter what we do, we want other people to love us, adore us, praise us but we never do the same back to the others. Love makes life perfect, it can heal wounds from the the previous relationships, it can cure ach'in heart which is about to break, and it can mend the soul with longed-desperate-whispering desires... Love is not all about having sex and body contact, it can be just a simple mere thing like saying 'Hello'. And love is not all about boys and girls things, it can be family love, friendship love, knowledge's love and so on. Again, I'm stressing this, Dont practice the love of power, but model the power of love.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

-The day when 20 become 21-

The morning was just like any other morning, just that I was late to class that day,
the reason is unexplainable, for every 2 minutes, I received a call from friend saying that lecturer is waiting for both of us to come...
all the students were waiting for me and a friend to have our 10 questions quiz. ( I dunno wat I answered).
After the class, I received a phone call from an outsider saying that he wants to see me at 2 o'clock, but the bus was full and I catched another one at 2.30 pm, so I have to cancel the appointment... :(
Then, People from SEC called to have other meeting with me at 3.00pm but I have to go to the lab because I promised Kak Ila & Dr Lee to do bacteria Iso, so I prostponed the appointment to 4.30pm. Done the lab, I went to SEC for the appointment. :3
At 5pm, I rushed to Agropark because I promised Rovin I'll transfer the fish back to their tank. In the animal house, the rabbits are trying to escape their way out by digging and I don't have the key to open it... waiting outside the rabbit house for someone to come with the key, I was full with rage already... tired and hungry (I forgot to take lunch... LOLZ).
After closing all the holes in the animal house, it is already 7.20 pm and I promised my Sarawakian friends to have Buka Puasa together. Bird-bathed and ran to the camp at the back of the hostel... I made it... We had LAKSA SARAWAK specially made by Ming & Eyla...
It was 8.20pm and I promised my group to have group discussion regarding the FILA table making... quickly ran to my room and change outfit then rushed to library...
at 10.30pm, after the discussion, a friend asked me to accompany her to buy things in 7 eleven.
It was 11.00pm and I'm on my way to my room when I saw Rovin and Tan. With an awkward way, they said there is a big lizard digging itself into the animal house at that time. I'm unconvinced because who the hell have the permission to go to the agropark at that hour... They called Khirija and she explained:
K :"Tadi ada seorang pak guard tu kata ada biawak masuk dalam rabbit houz..."
J:"Ye ke? (nada letih) mcm mana dia tau?"
K:"Dia baru balik dari kunci gate tu, so dia pergi la tgk agropark..."
J:"Pak guard tu xda kerja ke sampai bole pergi animal house dlm gelap... I xcaya la jaja..."
K:" Dia kan ada motosikal, mestilah dia boleh nampak..."
J:" Mcm mana dia bole tau kena contact u?"
K:" (nada cuak) oh... I bagi dia nombor HP I..."
J:" Ok, bagi I nombor telefon pak guard tu..."
K:" *terdiam*.... tiba2 line terputus....."
Rasa mcam dipermainkan, dah la masa tu kepala I pening sbb kena hantar proposal yg direject for the next day... tambah pulak budak2 yg sengal ni buat hal... I slammed the door and sit on my chair....
At this time, my gay roomate, Loi came and say, "Daniel, I'm hungry, lets go eat...?"
"Great, I'm angry and hungry... Let's go eat..."
We walked to CSC... then someone SMSed him asking where were we going,
at first I asked him to ignore but then, he replied the SMS without hesistation... Lolz....
Here came another s-hole to CSC, Tan, saying that I went to eat without him...
T:"Hey, you guys come without telling me... I'm so damn hungry you know... You wanna kill me or what?"
J:"Just now you said got things to do... and now hungry pulak...."
T:"Ye la... very hungry..."

The waitress came and ask, "What u want to eat ,Sir(versi yg dipolitekan)?
T:" Just take me air limau panas... that's all..."
J:" You said you damn hungry and blame me?!! what the @!$#$^!%@#!!!!!!!"

For a second I was thinking about myself, I looked around and felt a different atmosphere, a warm breeze, a sweet fragrance and a tranquilled ambience... and suddenly,
"~Happy birthday to you~ lalalalalallala~"
A group of SBH_3 monkeys came out of nowhere brought two cakes to celebrate my birthday in CSC!!!!!!
And the saddest thing was that, I forgot that it was my birthday that day and I never told anyone about it... These guys remember mine... seriously being touched and thrilled by it... I was speechless... In my heart, I can only say, thank you for making my life miserable earlier with the Biawak case... For one night, I'm being happy as a human being... Thanks guys....

daniello = daniel gello

SBH_3 n me~

kule2 cokelat~

Friday, August 20, 2010

...Feeling the Augustness...

I guess we can't runaway from history,
because wat happened back then, determined our today.
I used to hate history class, because of one small reason which not to be mentioned.
I can't deny that we forgive and forget easily most of the time,
but then, I guess I'm not in that list,
Now I know that I still can't let it go, even after 1 year.
Maybe bad things give more impact than the good one.
Guess I'm still not ready to face August.
Maybe the 'dark angel' is coming back to haunt my wonderful thoughts, pushing me back into the abyss of sadness which I sealed long time ago. Schizophrenia.

Once a friend who turned up to be an enemy.

Divine darkness, as 'they' said... "we're friends..."

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Mungkinkah, waktu itu nanti kita akan......

Masa berlalu dan berlalu,
rasa macam baru semalam, aku menikmati juadah & masakan mummy.
tiba2 rasa rindu, rasa kosong, rasa bersendirian,
so aku ambik langkah kura2 menuju ke balkoni sebelah bilik...
Jam dah pukul 4.30 pagi dan laptop masih lagi terbuka, terpampang kerja2 yg x siap walaupon dah berusaha sepanjang hari...
cermin air bergetar-getar mendenyutkan jantung bulan yg ada di wajahnya....
dalam kegelapan malam itu, aku terbayang benda2 indah dan sedih yg 'kau' berikan,
membuatkan diri ini rasa mcm x dihargai tetapi dipatuhi...
tapi itu bukan niat sebenar aku korbankan waktu utk 'kau'.
niat ku sebenar mulanya utk melupakan dia yg jauh di sana... tp mungkin tersilap caranya...
sampai bilakah waktunya nanti bila cukup itu mencukupi?
aku konfius... halatuju hidup ini asyik berubah-ubah...
sekejap niatku indah, sekejap amarahku bertambah... betul2 keliru...
tapi bak kata seseorang... "This is the time for you to learn, and you are in the learning process..."
Kalau ada waktu yg selama ini aku buang dgn benda2 yg x berfaedah, bisakah aku tuntutnya kembali? atau waktu2 yg ku buang dgn membuai mimpi di tgh hari, bole kah aku mendapatkan nya kembali?
Hidup sememangnya susah, tapi tahap ini mencapai maksima. kdg2 aku sendiri x tau kenapa aku sanggup lakukan perkara2 yg x berfaedah utk diri sendri smata2 utk membantu org yg x reti menghargai?
Mungkinkah aku telah pelajari erti sebuah simpati tetapi memakan diri.....
harapkan org, mengecewakan, harapkan diri, rasa mcm pentingkan diri sendiri?
bilakah waktunya nanti aku akan memahami yg aku juga seperti mereka di sana... manusia biasa yg selalu tertidur di dalam kelas... dan bukannya perwira yg sentiasa mampu mengangkat nama 'mereka'...
ku mau kita berjaya bersama, ku mau kau tau apa yg aku tau, tapi ku x pinta kau rasa perit maung yg ku rasa... tp satu yg ku pinta, cobalah utk memahami di mana letaknya harga dia sebagai seorang teman andai anda jadikan dia sebagai hamba kemalasan anda...

Sedangkan binatang hargai manusia, apakah anda gelar diri anda?

Monday, August 9, 2010

Maybe one day you will understand...

It's been a while since the last entry,
nothing much I wanna share here,
just a few power words which any human will understand.
Works, oh... stop talking about it...
I wanna tell some crucial things which sometimes we feel it but remained unalert.

"There is a story about 3 cats in the breeder house"
The 3 cats live in a breeder house,
The three of them are different breeds and traits.
The first cat is worth RM5000.
wow! That's a big amount.
He can turn on and off the computer, typing some data and read.
The second cat is worth RM15,000.
He can write, he can use the computer too but with other advantages such as using cutting-edge programmes.
The third cat is worth RM30,000.
The buyers expected him to have far better abilities than the other two.
But this cat only knows how to shit, spray urine and spit saliva.
People seem to be wondering why the third cat is so expensive while his ability is only this...?
The answer is simple:
This is because the other 2 cats call the 3rd cat as their boss. What do you expect a boss can do, other than shitting on his workers' work and spilling out foul words to them.

"The moral of the story here is that, no matter how good we are than our boss, or how hard we work than our boss, in the end, the credits will be taken by our boss but not us... do you know that, Daniel? You need to learn that from now... or else later you will be dissapointed... regardless of who you working with, either the government or the NGOs... So what you learn from today's trip?"

"Yea, I know that, Sir. Thanks for opening my eyes to the real world... I learned that, LIFE IS NOT EASY...."

Both laughing..... the car arrived at UMK.... :3

Monday, August 2, 2010

The -BP-

When a fire melts an ice , the water from it will extinguish the fire back.

Controlling anger is not an easy thing to do,
Everyone have their own boiling point that shouldn't being reach,
for some people, anger can be a dormant volcano waiting to erupt when the time is right.
and worsen, when it erupts, the effect will be catastrophic and fearsome.
I am a dormant volcano as well.
but to certain extend, I manage to control my anger. I'm not saying that I'm fully succeed in this but eventually it works well. My biggest contributor to anger is the stress accumulation.
but for those whose anger is at its peak, releasing it is the best solution.

Promised to face all the problems no matter what, but when little disagreement emerges, all flee like the Serengeti stampede.

During this hectic week, I am bombarded with works and assignments that I have to finish, but until now, none is touched. It's not because I don't want to, but I don't have time to. Some people may think that I'm just creating excuses for self interest. I can still accept that because not all people are born to have a life like mine. I never expect other people to understand or even share this or even to feel sympathy.
For those out there who are born in rich family, I guess you are very lucky.Yes, you are very very lucky indeed. I wish I am you. Frankly I am telling you, my family is poor. My father is just an ex-army and my mother is the world most devoted housewife. They are willing to go through all the hardships just to educate me. They are scorned by other people because they are poor. Fear of seeing me having the same fortune, they sent me off to an unknown friend whom I called a foster sister when I was entering my secondary school. I learn to live that life is not always beautiful for everyone.
Maybe some other people are not ready to face difficulties in life because they are spoon-fed with luxury and love. Maybe their parents are rich and can afford every thing that they desired. They want a remote control car they can have a remote control car, they want a PSP and they get a PSP. For people that never taste the joy of these toys and love, they will know that life is not easy.
Since small, I am trained to feel loneliness and despicableness. I studied in Chinese school to learn their competencies and you expect nothing less from them, they are very 'kaizen', friendly, dedicated and the best is that, they know what they do. What I learned from them is just a simple thing that life can give, and I know very well why Chinese can strive very well compared to other races in Malaysia. The answer is very simple, they are positive-minded and never whine when hardship occurs.
After all the hardships that I faced when I was young, I am more matured right now I guess. I promised myself to be someone respected by the nation one day.

p/s: If you are living in your cocoon of spoon-feeding and day dreaming that you will have a good future without hard work, sorry to say, Malaysia will always be a backward country for having a parasite like you. And if this still happen in the future, I will kiss Malaysia goodbye, for I'm not letting any parasite to suck my sweats and blood that easily.