Thursday, January 28, 2010

Remembered Past...

Dari kecik lagi, aku lah peminat binatang2 ni... bila bsedih, mak akan bawa pergi pet shop utk tgk2 binatang... tp x bole pelihara, sebabnya aku ada asma... aku allergic pada bulu binatang...
Pada suatu hari, mak bawa aku ke bukit kecil belakang rumah di Batu 10, Kem B, tempat papa ku training askar. Aku terkejut sgt2, aku ternampak sebuah rumah burung yg sebesar bilik hostel ni... didalamnya ada lebih kurang 20 ekor burung merpati yg bermacam2 warna...

Aku: mak, sapa punya burung2 ni?
Mak: kita la sayang...
Aku: kenapa mak x pernah bgtau kita ada burung2...?
Mak: sbb brung2 ni baru sampai semalam... syg tidur masa tu...
Aku: oh... nak pegang bole?

mak pon ambil seekor burung putih yg jinak... aku gembira, ketawa, tercungap2 pon ada...
Selepas hari tu, pada pukul 5 petang setiap hari, aku akan dtg tempat tu bersama2 mak atau ayah... burung2 ni dibiarkan bebas, semestinya smua akan balik ke rumah tu bila sampai waktu nya... masa kecil2, aku langsung xda kawan, pergi sekolah pon sebulan pergi sebulan tidak... sakit asma mengekang hidupku sebagai kanak2 yg riang... teman2ku hanya la binatang2 ni, tp aku suka... budak2 lain akan menjauhi aku, katanya aku ni pembawa penyakit... tp xpa, aku sedar juga tu...

suatu hari, mak terpaksa jual atau lepaskan smua burung2 merpati kami yg agak2nya mencecah 50 ekor sebab kami akan pindah dari situ. mak x bagitau... tp aku tau itu... kali terakhir aku pergi ke rumah itu, smuanya kosong, tinggal pelepah dan najis2 saja... aku tau, aku terpaksa, dan aku nangis... mak kata, org lelaki x bole nangis, aku tahan diriku... aku mau burung2 itu hidup bebas lagi, aku mau mereka punya pemilik yg lagi baik daripada seorg budak yg berpenyakit...
Tahap asma aku dah mencecah tahap kronik bila aku berumur 9 tahun... setiap malam mak akan bawa aku ke hospital sejauh 1km... berjalan kaki kalau xda teksi... smua itu hanya utk bagi ubat pelega pnafasan yg ada hanya di hospital... bapaku outstation, balik 3 bulan skali...
Pihak hospital, jemu ngan muka aku... ada yg suruh buangkan saja anak x guna ni

masa aku berusia 10 tahun, asma ku mula mghilang... syukur pada tuhan... dan familyku yg lain x lagi anggap aku anak sial... hahaha~ skrg ni, org dah mula terima kehadiranku, biasalah, manusia.... hahaha~ *terasa lucu*
masa kecik2 binatang2 tu yg lagi syg kat aku... termasuk la parents.... skrg ni, smua mula menunjukkan rasa syg... kdg2 geli, tapi kdg2 pon rasa cam dah lumrah... tp biarlah, aku juga manusia biasa la katakan... walaupon aku berjaya mngubah manusia lain kepada lebih baik, tp kdg2 aku pon rasa aku sdg berubah ke arah negativity.... hahaha~

Me, Heinz and Winz

~TRIO~

When I was too alone to accept the truth that I'm dumped by someone, I seek for friends and relatives. A little will do but just not enough to me at the time. Then, Heinz knocked into my silence. I miss her so much. I try to find her here but I just can't. She's here everywhere but remains hidden. Its like looking for a hair in the dark cave. She's there but unseen. She's nice, sometimes will find me when I'm down to the ground. But we cant be too often together coz im the one who'll get the effect. Staying away from her, I found another goody, Winz. She's a nice one too. Everyday I meet her just to have fun with. Another friend of mine likes her too... we hang out together and having relaxation by pouring our thoughts to her to listen. She's indeed a good pail to pour our anciety and grieves. Life goes on, and I am close with her. I dun wan to take the risk of dying so young. Now, trying to stay away from both of them, just in case, maybe they are the one who cause my health's deterioration.




Holding a Lantana Kemara, beautiful but poisonous~

Monday, January 25, 2010

Essence of Malaysia

It wasnt a matter when we were young, I hope it doesn't matter now too...



Youth of Malaysia,
Raise your timid hands,
We need them,
Regardless of size and contributions they made,
Stand by me,
And we'll create a world of you and me...

Our difference is not the reason for our fight,
Our resemblance is not the reason to throw our sights,
Our weakness is not the cause of frights,
Our failure is not the cause of our sighs.

Remember,
The rising star of our country is solely in our hands,
Decide and we can make it an elegant country to stand,

I'm not against you, and I hope you don't,
I love to be one,
Where we can stay together in the front...

Feel the aroma of love and Malaysian life,
Just like the Ketupat leaves, bending but not breaking,
Just like the Chapati, flatting but not tearing,
Just like the Dim Sum, wrapped virtue yet undisturbed.

I'll put your shoes on my feet,
I'll wear your clothes on me...

Think about it my fellow friends,
Respect the stars and the lonely moon in the sky,
Because we know,
They created our past, but we create our future...

Let it be a wonderful place for you and me,
A place we call home,
A place our children wanna be...



Give me your hand and we contributes together... Put aside our skin color, let our pure hearts, shine upon the good will, we'll success, not personnally but as one...

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Bila???

Bila kita terpaksa membuat pilihan...

nak buat pilihan ni mmg susah, kadang2 yg tbaik bg kita mungkin bukan tbaik bg org lain,
keputusan itu mjadi lebih susah bila kita terpaksa pegang perasaan org,
mungkin kita dah cuba utk bagi win-win condition,
tp smua itu mungkin x memadai... akibatnya, kita lukakan diri kita lebih...
itu mungkin adat kehidupan,
ye la kan, x smua insan sempurna,
yg menjadi masalahnya bila kebaikan kita disalahtafsirkan,
dlm dunia ni x smua org bole makan nasihat bulat2,
cakap skit ttg benda diluar norma, terus melenting,
padahal x sedar apa niat baik org tu,
pandangan kita selalu negatif, adat manusia la kan...
kalau aku cakap skit, kau kata aku jahat,
kalau aku diam jew, kau kata aku sombong,
kalau aku bagi kerja, mula la kau kata aku pressure kau,
kalau aku x beri kerja, kau pon ckp aku ni x betanggungjwab,
bila aku buat keputusan mbelakangi kau, kau kata aku tikam belakang,
bila aku buat keputusan depan kau, kau kata aku ni tburu2...

Tapi ada yg kisah apa aku rasa?
ada yg tau knapa skype aku x tutup walaupon dah pukul 4 pagi?
ada yg btanya kenapa muka aku muram jew?
ada x yg bertanya aku sihat x?
ada ke yg kisah knapa aku ambik benda yg x sepatutnya?
ada ke yg sudi teman aku, dgr apa aku cakap?

Bila aku nak beri kebaikan, org kata hypokrit,
bila aku nak jadi neutral, org kata aku ada niat jahat,
bila aku nak kawan dgn smua org, org anggap motifku lain,
bila aku nak bagi komitment lebih, org kata aku mngada2...

Aku nakkan perhatian org?
x jugak...
Aku nak org puja aku?
jauh skali...

Apa yg aku nak?
Aku nak org anggap aku ni insan biasa,
bole gelak bole marah,
Aku nak jugak merasa di normalkan
jgn la aku dpndang serong sbb kita berbeza...
percayalah, kita sama makan nasi, kita sama menyembah bumi bila ajal, kita sama puja Tuhan yg satu... yg berbeza cuma cara hidup... fikirkan lah wahai teman dan sahabatku di sana...

To my late best-friend, moga Tuhan mencucuri rahmatmu... Im sorry becoz IT WAS MY FAULT...
Im mayb excel in my academic, but I failed my humanity once, and I dun wan it to happen again anymore....

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Changed...


People are people and sometimes we doesn't work out!!!

Change is the word that I always idolize every now and then. It is a motivator that keeps me alive most of the time. People always think that change really is a good thing. Maybe it is until a certain point of life for me I think. I was a cheerful person and chat about just anything. I was the family clown and heart of their ocean souls. Friends will find me to pour their despair heart and to cheer them up. Little do I know, I poured nothing to anyone until I am in a University, It is really a sad thing to remember. People always think that I am the happy go lucky person as they always describe me as, or a lazy genius that always get good marks in his study even though he never studies. Regardless of what people say about me, only a few had heard my sore heart spoken and almost nobody knows what I feel.

Back to the word change, I think that we should take the challege to do make a difference. Most of the time, we find similarities in life. We usually make friends of the same race, gender and status. It is a normal thing that we do, cause we find it easier to understand people of the same segment. But... Have we ever think out of the box? What if, we live in the land where the people alienated you, for instance, Europe. Can we easily find people that suits our similarities? The advice here is that, we have to step out of the comfort zone and try to think in an open-minded way. We can make a change, a better change. It is simple, by emphaty that is. Put ourselves into other's shoes and walk the way they did. Believe me, it is not a bad experience to do things differently.

Talking about traditional religious mindset of thinking. It is something that we need to retain as well. Don't ever change your target in life because of mere desrire and then destroy your joy towards life. For instance, your pride and virtue. Don't ever sell your dignity to people even if you are in trouble especially for ladies. Once the person is polluted, she will forever be polluted. By implementing the tip-top traditional way of thinking and add it with the change with cutting-edge millenium mindset, Wallah! A perfect Malaysian we call is born... Its up to you and me to shape our country one day. So think wisely now, is it relevant to fight for it? or we can share it together and make the best out of everything...



A scene at Sibu river side coffee shop...




Sibu Central market... a place where most people change their minds...
especially when buying daily basis items... because it is the biggest market in M'sia!!! Lots of variety!!!!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Rasa nak marah je...

Marah... marah...marah-marah...marah aje la~ ok la tu~

Hingga ketika ini, dia x pernah pon marah sapa2 dalam hidupnya... bukan dia pendiam ataupon x pernah, memang pernah, tp dia akan redakan marahnya dgn benda yg sememangnya dia suka lakukan utk hilangkan stress nya serta-merta... kalau x pon dia akan cari rakan2 yg gilak2 utk tenangkan minda, kalau x pon dia akan ambil ubat penenang, kalau x pon at least dia akan tido utk lupakannya, harap pagi esok hilang smuanya... memang mujarab...

Tapi kan, manusia skrg ni mmg susah nak diberi muka, kalau tegur pon akan melenting x tentu pasal, benci sana benci sini... mmg susah nak difahami jugak... atau itu lah perhiasan dunia masa kini? Bila kita nak marah, kita marah je, lemparkan smua yg ada pada sapa2 yg kita rasa wajar dilukai hatinya... pernahkah kita fikir, dia pun ada prasaan juga? wajarka? selalunya org kata "ADA AKU KESAH?"...

Kenapa nak marah? entah? tepuk perut tnya kenyang ke blum? atau seperti yg dibawah:

1) Gaduh ngan gf pastu kau lampiaskan kat rum8 kau ea...?
2) Gaduh ngan kucing sbb makan hamster kau, pastu kau salahkan org bagi kucing lepas...
3) Datang bulan marah... berlaku pada certain org...
4) Stress ngan kerja yg x jadi2, marah lah rkan sejawat... ckp la sbb dia kerja x jln...or watever!
5) kena tenking ngan org yg superior... nak lawan takut hilang kerja...
6) kena fuk ngan kawan... atas dasar gurau tp di-real-kan...
7) Saje je nak cari gaduh... bagi kaki marah...
8) dan sebagainya yg fuk-ing idiot... ^^"


NILAI MINDAmu...



Cuba perhatikan betul2 gambar di atas... apa yg anda nampak...
1) kalau anda nampak bangunan, maksudnya anda ada perasaan marah yg terpendam
2) kalau anda nampak sekumpulan budak2/remaja2 yg sewel, maksudnya anda rileks..

Nasihat:

Kalau la kan, kita rasa marah atas sebab tertentu, ok la tu, wajar marah tapi dgn kadaran yg betul, bukan sebaldi air liur dicurahkan... masa marah tu, buatla benda2 yg menghiburkan... jalan2 ke, makan2 ke, tido2 ke, cuci mata ke... Sebolehnyakan, try not to tunjukkan kepada orang lain yg anda marah... cuba bawa bertenang, mana tau dia dtg minta maaf ats silapnya... reda hati... bagi joe, marah tu memang perlu.. tapi ada tempatnya... disebabkan rasa marah atas sebab ....*sulit*.... joe telah berenggang dgn best fren joe masa dulu... everything kami buat kami buat bersama, gembira... tapi atas sebab tadi tu, kami gaduh... joe marah dia sambl terpacul bahasa x baik,hina, dan juga keji... akibatnya hilang la best fren joe tu (bukan meninggal tp renggang)... itu dulu, sedih btul terkenangkannya... skrg ni, joe x brani nak marah sapa2, joe buat muka ketawa, rileks je walaupon kadang2 hati ni terasa lapar (nak membaham org)... sebab nya joe ternmpak muka best fren joe masa dulu... dan takut perkara sama terulang kembali... masa kat matrix dulu, joe pernah jadi ketua utk pasukan kawat kaki... komitmen yg dberi mmg memarahkan, dtg x dtg mcm sama je...

Joe pon marah2 ngan smua bdak2 kawat lagi2 pembantu joe... setrusnya joe denda dia smpai dia nanges2 lagi~padahal langsung dia xda salah...lepas tu smua bagi komitmen, tp bukan utk joe sebaliknya pembantu joe... difikirkan balik, I was wrong after all... joe try cari dia balik skrg ni tp Tuhan loves her more than I do...

hukumannya... Joe terpaksa rasa bersalah seumur hidup, demi dia juga, joe quit kk..joe x pegang raket for one year... joe x pernah tengking sapa2 lagi... joe tukar cita2 joe... joe jadi pendiam... joe jadi budak baik... joe jadi book nerd...

Tapi sekarang... segala2 nya telah berubah beransur2 menjadi seperti dulu...
1) joe dah mula pegang raket
2) joe mula melenting, menengking
3) joe x lagi diam sgt dlm kelas
4) joe x lagi suka buku
5) joe jadi budak jahat kembali....

kalau perasaan marah itu datang kembali... terserahlah... itu mmg diwarisi dari Daddy... x dpt dihapuskan~

Friday, January 8, 2010

Check these Agros

~New essence of life~

Its been a long time I haven't post anything in this blog. In this new year, I wish everyone of my friends a good life with new objectives. Remember that let gone be by gone. Dun put too much stress in your or you will end in regrets. During the holiday I learned a lot from my grands. It wasn't a bad holiday like I always mention before. I learned that the essence of living lies in our own palm. Just that we don't know or haven't relaize our own potential. Its true, life is a fight, we fight with pencils and papers instead of swords. To some extend, I as well learned that I really love nature so much. It motivates me and refresh my body. I hope that one day I can be a nature or environment protector in terms of rights and policy to protect them. Check it out...



Yang ni orang sarawak panggil buah kasai



Yang ini orang panggil buah tarap



Bunga Kantan @ Bunga kechala



Udang sungai, besar!



Anak ikan haruan bodoh (knapa la nama dia camni?)



Riping rambutans~ depan rumah je...