Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Well, time is indeed trying to become my enemy.
There's no much to say, as it is most likely my own failure to manage it.
But I guess I'm struggling with it, playing with this tug-of-war,
With no sign of giving up, never plan to fail myself anyway.
Never felt so "student" before because life was a lot easier but less challenging,
ironically, it wasn't at all.
Day-in-day-out, I'm getting older and older but during this fourth year,
the process seems to be accelerated, owing to the untimely sleep and diet habits.
Loosing weight might be the best satisfaction for almost everyone,
but for me, it's a sign that I'm undergoing an unhealthy lifestyle.
Gaining weight is not a hard task to me, however, it seems that my throat is not cooperating.
Am I that busy? No I'm not actually.
Just that I didn't allocate time properly.
Some people did accused me for being irresponsible due to some underestimated issues and less prioritized concerns.
If you're saying the same thing to the two-years-ago me, I'll drag you into some debates in which I'm pretty sure you'll never win it.
But this time, I'll bow 90 degree to you and take it in as an involuntary support.
I know I can't satisfy the whole world but at least make myself feel contented with the real blame.
I know my own size of shoes and your feet will not gonna fit in them anyway.
The most important thing is that, I'm happy with what I'm doing because I know, after I graduate, this feeling will be gone as sweet memories.
Friday, September 16, 2011
I tried my best to be a good guy, a helper, a friend with mirthless smiles.
During the mourn, no haircut, no shaving,
and lots of other traditional beliefs to be obeyed.
Grandpa left me forever only a week after my post-Thailand-research holiday.
He was a strong man and full of determination, my idol for the rest of my life.
My siblings, cousins and other relatives were drenched in their solemn tears,
but ironically, I was the only one who stayed calm, sitting next to his lifeless body for the last time.
I first saw my parents cried ever and never want to see it anymore.
"God loves him more than we do, all you need to do is to pray for him. You're a strong guy like him." Dr. Tracy Ting told me.
That night, my cousin brother and I were out for a while from hospital to top up our phones which were out of credits. We reached back at the hospital and saw the doctors were doing their best CPR to continue his heartbeat. The younger doctor came and asked either to continue or not, in which at that time my vocal chord was jammed. I hold tight my cousin brother's hand and sought for an answer from him but all the things that we can do was starring at each other, speechlessly.
In my heart, I thought I knew that I was probably strong enough to let him go, and told the doctors to stop their works since further actions would make him suffer more and my guts told me what to say.
Sadness is one of the choices in grief. For how long it may take, we are the one to decide.
I was bathing myself with sweats of busyness, in hope that I can take it as a medicine to slowly eradicate this feeling away. But my love towards him will forever alive like this post and will stay with me until it's my time to close my eyes forever.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
once I got back to Malaysia after a 3 months away from it.
But yes, my blood boiled too much and my head in pain.
I can't define the attitudes of some humans
who think they hold the virtue of a religion would do the pathetic thing to another human ever alive, worst than any land walking animals that ever alive.
But we cant judge the whole world through the actions of these idiotic faggots & buggers (sorry if the language is harsh).
At least when the whole world turns itself against you,
your family will stand behind you.
Daddy called and directly confirmed a flight ticket for me without any hesitation,
and advised me,
"You put your priority wrongly, works will always disappoint you when you're not fully prepared to fail it... But we, your family won't and always stand by you no matter how many times you turned us down... You weren't here during Gawai and I've listened too much about your works, and this time, we'll talk about family... Grandpa & Grandma want to see you during Raya... You'll be homed no matter what..." *talked in my ethnic slang*
I was touched and now I know where my fault is.
Thanks dad, your support is the best present ever in the history of my life.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Life is kinda very busy, busier than ever.
But it's my choice and my duty to face it without any laments,
since I've promised myself.
Once I've sailed through this treacherous sea of works,
I'll be a free sea gull, witnessing other sailors make their ways through the storms for above.
Perhaps I can focus on the other things in my life,
and maybe things that I'd accidentally neglected.
Reviewing the previous chapters in my life,
I can see my flaws as a normal human being,
idly living my life without any sense of direction,
setting my priority to people who made me their last option.
Maybe it's time to repent,
becoming a more matured guy,
before going into the next step in life - a fully grown up adult.
Lots of apologizes, especially for
my hot & cold fondness, my near & far reasons,
to whom, my heart pounds for.
Final steps in Histopathology, Slicing & Staining, hopefully can finish all before stepping my feet back on the motherland. Happy that I almost completed my tasks, but will be aggrieved to leave this beautiful land of smiles. Never been so excited, since day one. Met lots of funny friendly friends and lecturers. Went illegally to some red zones (being warned by authorities from both PSU & UMK). Figured out my Thesis title, objectives and methods by myself within one week. Rushing proposal within 2 weeks. This experience makes me a more time efficient person, thanks for this opportunity guys. Well, it's 5 days countdown to the Season Finale. Tick-Tock!
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Kalau diperhatikan di setiap fakulti dan jabatan, pasti ada saja kewujudan 'bunga mekar dan layu' tanpa dihinggapi oleh mana2 species lebah. Kenapa ye?
Menyingkap kepada persoalan remeh ini, saya telah menemu bicara roomate sebilik di PSU.
Dia menerangkan konsep kesama-rataan yg diamalkan di negara tersebut, iaitu manusia di sini dibahagikan kepada 3 domain utama iaitu, lelaki, perempuan dan lela-puan.
Kemasukkan ke Universiti tempatan pula mempunyai kuota yang amat bias yg menampilkan,
70% perempuan, 15% lelaki dan 15% golongan undefined. Maka, golongan lelaki sejati yg berilmu adalah sgt sedikit jika dibandingkan dengan golongan wanita.
Adalah tidak dinafikan, golongan lelaki adalah sgt berharga dan dipandang emas permata oleh smua pihak.
Patut le nama aku asyik kena panggil je siang dan petang oleh girls2 ni walhal terfikir pulak, kita kenal ke? (kepada secret admires, jgn jeles).
Kalau berlainan jantina masih bole terima lagi la, tapi kalau dah yg sama aras, pastu mekap nye tebal 10 inchi... datang bilik trus xnak kluar... sembang sampai dunia nak khiamat... tgk kita mcm tgk ayam KFC... adui... *meremang bulu tengkuk, mengecut urat tekak*
Begitulah dilema wanita2 di sini,
mereka terpaksa bersaing untuk mendapatkan pasangan hidup.
Tambah pulak wanita yg berkerjaya,
semestinya inginkan lelaki berkerjaya juga. Apa class ye x?
Namun begitu, ada juga yg kecundang dalam pertempuran mereka dgn golongan XX-Y ni dan terpaksa mensingle-mingle-kan diri berharap bertemu juga insan penghuni hati.
Kalau hati anda keras, lembutkan lah,
dalam dunia ini xda ye prince charming on a white horse... xyah cari yg perfect, mmg xda...
ataupun senang je, jadilah macam budak2 SBH ni, 'SINGLE BUT HAPPY'...
Artikel ini tidak berkaitan dgn mana2 insan yg hidup @ yg tlah mati.
After 2 weeks in hatchery, 2 weeks in water quality lab, now i change my lair, i think 4 weeks in disease & parasite lab...
2 reports and 2 presentations at the same week in August, I'm a dead meat. My friends in other places are not like this, we've been through hell. Tomorrow post-grade UMT-PSU seminar, and I need to attend half a day, meaning Tissue Processing on halt.
God, please lend me some of your strength.
Betta fish, for breeding purpose...
Ast. Danno., PSU 2011.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
all posting about "Bersih 2.0".
That really showed how pathetic Malaysians, polices and our government too.
In the end what we get?
A broken leg, an almost dead of epilepsy and finally discredit to Malaysia in the eyes of the world.
I personally think, going against polluted government is a good thing, we must protect our rights but maybe rally is not the way. Think of something else people. Be mature please.
Some of them may say, "We're just walking peacefully from station A to station B, we did nothing".
Can't you see the problem?
Walking peacefully from station A to station B? That's bullshit, you're blocking the traffics, scaring tourists away, you know. Effects? Think about it yourself.
Here is the advice from me,
Before you think about that fair election or the lack of integrity ,
please be fair in your real life first,
for example, Don't CHEAT in CLASS!!!
P/s: I'm a supporter of Bersih 2.0 but in my own way. TQ.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Walk like a drunk, hit my head and kiss the wall.
I don't really like research in the first place, it's tedious, tired and quantitative (the data).
But after much experience and hands on, it actually thrills.
You'll find different possibilities between rights or wrongs.
I enjoy it much, guide by PSU Fish Pathologist, Dr. Yew, it's fun!
Furthermore, friends and colleagues who help much, UMKs, UMTs and PSUs, my deepest gratitude.
I guess that's why some people choose to be a lecturer although his/her teaching skill is sucks.
Can't update much though,
This week is the most critical week in my FYP.
So long, peeps.
Last week didn't do anything~ resting, revitalize my strength... :)
Ast. Danno PSU,2011
Thursday, June 30, 2011
All the exotic food and drinks inside my stomach are stirring for ways out.
Blame it to Thailand, since it is highly reckoned amongst the food paradises in the world.
Being a sudden celeb-alike in PSU is not a great experience as well when people all around the corner, hidden and seen, shrieking for your name.
I know I'm a rare species from Malaysia but that's doesn't mean I'm giving my numbers to you to easily ask me out for a drink.
Moreover, in disease parasite lab, during reagent preparation, I accidentally stained my hand with a permanent stain killed my emotions solemnly.
But I admit, life was easy before that and we, enjoyed it.
My head of department, Arjan Saweit promised to take me around southern Thai for a break free. But then, due to unavoidable reasons (as expected) he can't but then, my research partner, Yum and a colleague, Big did. It was a remarkable visit, giving us another insight into the culture and the beauty of southern Thai. But first, the research site of sakom for the sampling of Holothuria sp.
PSU Marine hatchery research centre, Sakom.
Sakom currently is the site for breeding of sea turtle, slipper lobster, swimming crab and other marines.
My research partner is currently working out on a drink based on seaweed,
I had a stomachache after I took one of these...
Then we went to Monkey's fun boat, these creatures are ferociously cute.
Tang Kuan Hill, met a lot of Malaysians here.
My friends & colleagues at the Great Serpent "Nag".
Fascinated by the beautiful underwater world in Songkhla Aquarium.
Mysterious Cat & Rat Statue, at Kok Mew Kok Nu island.
A flaring afternoon on Samila Beach
Hat Yai, Shopping paradise,
(please bring a Thai friend to help you to kill the price at the cheapest rate a human can get or else, burn a hole in your pocket)
Floating market of Hat Yai, full of human, on boats and on shore.
Trying the exotic insecta snacks, entomologists hate us for this.
Life seems to be resumed from the pause and I'm back to work, this week, Water Quality, Chemical Reagents & Staining Methods. Next Monday, Parasitology, whereas the real pain in the ***. I need to spend 2 weeks in hatchery then after that another 2 weeks in Histopathology lab before I can take a deep breath. Then around 2 weeks, going to do axenic media culture for parasite before going to data analysis and finally FYP presentation. I've told my supervisor in M'sia, fearing that I might be unable to finish on time. And he said, "Don't worry, have fun!".
Other people will think that we are brainiest but no, we're not. Yeah, we're just having fun!
This Saturday? Going Where? Wait in the next entry.
Ast. Danno PSU, 2011.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
"She's scared and lonely.
She always listens to her broken heart."
Please safe her, before she falls apart.
The mirror captures every moment when the eyes drizzle.
She can't fathom a broken relationship.
Blame it on her imperfect other half,
He's not always there for her,
Not because of he won't, but he can't.
Distance kills almost anything that try to contact with it.
She drowns herself in the tears of formalin,
while he drugs himself with the carcinogenic workloads and the anesthetic 'holiday'.
Some people said, goodbye is the best way to pronounce love.
A full stop means a new beginning.
One day, she'll forget this broken Angel,
Although it's already been years.
Cry, it works, believe me. But stop, once you're relieved.
Tried but can't.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Ah, long time didn't write in.
Kinda busy with my research project and at the same time, enjoyed.
Nothing particular to be shared about my astronaut life here,
just that, I really enjoy the studying ambience here.
J.F.Kennedy library, Pra Mong Disease and Parasite lab, Hatchery, Lan pedu, are my studying spots. I tried my best to communicate in Thai and I think I'm making something out of it.
What? A Thai girlfriend?
No, no time for that, I keep myself from falling in and out of love.
Make a distance.
Coz once you turn in, you'll never come back.
I grab tight my reason coming to this whole new world; FYP.
But seriously, your knees will shatter when you see one... Damn...
Last week Synopsis:
The central masjid of Pattani
Big C mall
Sai Khao waterfall national park
Catwalk Beach (ignore the belly part)
Friday, June 3, 2011
Don't worry, nobody is loosing his blood.
Just received back the papers that I sent to Arjan Yew to check about fresh water ornamental fish, parasitology, histopathology, water quality measurement and medicinal herbs in Asia.
To my surpirse, it is filled with red inks and I like it.
At least I know what is wrong with me!
Compared to my original university,
The paper will be as clean as the first time you submit it.
No proper corrections are made by the lecturers but marks are deducted at the end of the day. And those-who-think-they-are-smart are very happy with it.
Talking bout how strict academic here is,
every semester, there will be a threshold for their CGPA. for first semester, i think they need to achieve at least 2.50 and above. The marks' threshold will be increased until a certain limit. Those who can't achieve it, will need to say good bye to the others, just like Mentor 5. And at the end, only those who really deserved it will graduate and get a good job (which is only 11 of 18 will graduate this year from my department, Ek Pra Mong - Fishery Technology.)
Talking about eligibility, they are indeed very2 good. Congratulation to those who excelled in your Viva, final year project presentation, and for those who still couldn't pass it, stay strong.
Their determinations seriously strike my enthusiasm to achieve excellency. It's been long that I haven't fell this way since matriculation.
This is what I call learning, enough of those cheap tips during exams, enough of those attempts to strive illegally in it as well, bring out your true potential so that nobody will despise you.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Friends and families will gather at Rumah Panjai,
a Long House that brings the tradition alive.
At this time, no age boundary is limited to the joy of Hari Gawai.
Ngajat performance, Kumang or beauty queen election are held duirng this merry making period.
Nevertheless, Ngirup Ai Pengayu or drinking tradition will be done sharp at 12.oo AM of the 1st of June. This is to bless the celebrators for having long lasting fortune and more to come in the future. Ngabang or pay relatives a visit will be done once the dawn has emerged.
Some of Malaysians, are still ignorant about what is Hari Gawai and may even think that Sarawakians are still living in the trees. That's a cheap stereotype to be made by some people. So get out of your comfort zone and come to Sarawak for a visit especially during this season. You'll be amazed by what is the meaning of harmony and diversified culture. This celebration is celebrated by almost all indigenous people in Sarawak, just that they call it different names or may even fall on different days but still in the range of this month.
To my beloved family,
My deepest apologize for unable to be there to celebrate with you.
This is my second or third outstation Gawai celebration.
This is an obliged sacrifice that I need to make in my life,
I promise I'll make it sweeter next time I celebrate it with all of you.
Have fun meeting everyone. Send my Pattani regards to all.
Miss me as much as I miss all of you.
Gayu Guru Gerai Nyamai,
Pengidup Likun Lantang Senang.
~With Love Noar@Waar@Daniel~
Saturday, May 28, 2011
She is sitting with the phone in her hand,
Morning pearly tears are dropping, without noticing it,
It’s been three days.
There has been a death in the next door,
The neighbor wife’s hysterically screech for losing her husband in the unplanned war,
Between the southern Thai’s villagers and their conspirational enemies,
Only God knows what she felt at the moment.
Petrified by the scream of the broken heart,
Suddenly, the phone in her hand rings a melancholy tone,
A simple greet is the only thing that she can say,
The gloomy morning's silent is broken by the soft sobs.
Again her lustrous tears drop, but this time as fast as a creek.
She will cook her best for the dinner tonight.
Because he’ll be home to enjoy the new rice.
Friday, May 27, 2011
When we know that there is something,
Perhaps maybe because we dunno about everything,
Then we choose not to do anything.
Being foreign is not a choice,
It's a fate.
Being a lab rat is not a destiny,
It's an ugly reality.
Have you ever heard of the silence that speaks so loud?
Do you ever understand a body language more than it normally is?
This is just a mere experience that we encountered in life.
I think there will be more to come.
Listening to the nags of an unloved student,
Looking at an unfair condition of a love equation.
This is spectacular.
But will it be this way forever?
Astronaut Danno. PSU. 2011.
Still shock? No... Not anymore...
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Arrived here in PSU, an established University in Thai, ranking #4. Research field, top class.
Day 1: Met Pee-Usani, our international relation department officer, she's a nice lady, who introduced us to PSUPC. We dined with her in a luxurious restaurant and she treated us.
Day 2: We were acquired to learn basic Thai language with Bei Hakim, PHD student in Rubber Tech. He's like a big brother to us and very friendly.
Day 3: Visit my department, met Dr Nirratissai , went bird-watching with Pee-Rit & Arjan Yong. Love it so much.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Flashing memories come to me as I think of my teachers,
and these are the things that I remembered:
Mdm Lee, English & Music Teacher - I just can't forget her menacing 3cm-wide-15cm-long-wooden-chair punishment tool. And I'm one of those who almost taste it everyday. Aww...
Mdm Ling Feng Lin, Science & Mandarin Teacher - She sent me to kneel in front of principals office with 3 other not hardworking guys until we finish our homework which seems to be unfinished, as saying goes, gossiping outside the fence, but this time outside principal's office. She also did ask me to clean the toilet but luckily got thoughtful cleaning contractor aunts who helped.
Mdm Tan Mei Dan, Mandarin Teacher - She punished the whole class standing for the rest of the day due to someone wrote "我们用了九牛二虎之力把zhen美丹的内衣拔出来". (Trans: We used our tremendous effort to pull out Mdm Tan's bra.)
and many more...
Mdm Rebecca Su, KH Teacher - She encouraged me to read more mandarin books due to my poor results. Haiz...
Mdm 500, Math & Discipline Teacher - Aww, this one made my life changed from good to evil. I was a "golden-tag" prefect until she came and cause me a pain in the ass. I was too I go against her and do wrongs instead of goods. The other prefect friends said wanna go the rebellious path like mine and I did say "don't do it". Aww...
Ms Wong He Heng, Geography Teacher - She's like a mother to us and she help me to apply for extra money.
Cikgu Mohd, P.Moral & BM Teacher - First time I ever heard kelantanese slang and we don't understand that time. As time pass by, he speaks any slang right now.
Cikgu Nurul Huda, BM & Pengajian AM (after spm program) Teacher - She's good, dedicated. Her good recipe is the tomato rice during Hari Raya. Always told me that I need to improve my BM because it's worsen according to her.
Mr Siong, Physic Teacher - The most feared ever, Silencer with great ulti - silence. We can feel his aura, hahahaha~ His comes out with his own theory in Physic, Hukum Siong: Tak Tau, Biarkan. And it worked in my SPM.
Mdm Dia, Math Teacher - The adorable teacher who also dedicates her life to her students. Her class - Brain damage. And She'll say :" Haiyo... 都是老师的错..." (Trans: All the blame is on the teacher.)
and so on....
Ms Dahlia (x ingat nama), Biology teacher: She's like a mother to our class. She scolded me for getting an A- in maths during first sem trials. Wait, she teaches biology right? And in the class, I'll be the target for tough questions... Haiz...
Encik Hashim, Math Teacher: His petua, 4-5pm sleep. 8-10pm study sampai mampus.
Ms Chubby, MUET Teacher: Laughing all the way during our class made a drama which was damn funny! I was the naughty husband who flirts with the nurse and any female in contact. Hahaha~
ahhh... I forgot some of the names already...
Oh, this one better keep it unveiled after I graduate first or... Hahaha~
All the lecturers who teach me in UMK are best. (bodek2 sikit...)
And for that, I wish all who educated me yesterday, today and tomorrow a HAPPY TEACHER DAY.
All that we can do is to pray for our safety during the trip.
We can never expect what the extraterrestrials can do to us but we believe, "Vigilance" is the word best to describe our situation.
We are expected to depart from K-land using 8-seated space shuttle and transit at a land called Tak Bai using a water shuttle to go across the asteroid river.
At the other side, the T-land inhabitants will fetch us before continuing the journey to their HQ at P.C.P.S.U. The journey altogether needs at least 4-5 time wizards.
The astronauts are currently having mental block, an inability to continue a train of thoughts. And I, Astronaut Danno, who is currently speaking on this virtual recordings is facing the worst of the worst fear ever as well; The inability to understand the upcoming circumstances and maximum mind-power utilization, creating a hidden shadow in my thoughts.
However, until the day comes, we know, we are ready for the adventurous expedition."
Astronaut Danno, 5.16PM 15 MAY 2011, Pre-expedition jotting.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
"In less than 48 hours,
We'll conduct some researches on similarities between our land and the extraterrestrial land.
The inhabitants there are believed to speak in an ancient dialects which we would never understand unless we try to master it there.
This mutual-benefit program is to ensure the co-existence between inhabitants of two different lands is not breached.
By understanding each other, we'll see a brighter future together.
We were told that once we arrived there, we need to clap our eyeballs on the surroundings.
It is believed that good inhabitants are many but bad ones are myriad too.
The expedition will last for at least 3 months and if we succeeded in finding the key to the unanswerable questions, we'll be the legend."
Astronaut Danno, 9.55PM 14 MAY 2011. Pre-expedition jotting.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Sementara menunggu flight yang seterusnya kat KL ni,
I rileks la skejap kat ruangan menunggu, sambil belek2 HP layan game.
Then, dtg la sorang teenage girl duduk sebelah trus cakap bahasa mandarin,
I pon pelik lar, trus tnya:
ME - "Miss, are you okay?"
HER - "Hah you don't understand mandarin ar? I though you're Chinese."
ME - "I understand. But then at least introduce yourself in a proper way la... I thought you talking to yourself..."
HER - "Haiya, sorry2... actually i have something to do with cerebral palsy..."
ME - "What? You're having cerebral palsy?"
HER - "No la, my name is **********... I'm a volunteer for helping kids with cerebral palsy at *****."
Dia tunjuklah smua dokumen dan xplain dengan detail sampai I pulak ingat yg I pulak yg ada sindrom nie... Lepas habis buih kat mulut dia, I tanya la lagi kan:
ME - "So you do it for profit or what? What benefits you get?"
HER -"I told you ma just now I do this for volunteer." *Nampak sgt x bagi attention tadi*
ME - "Why are you doing this instead of working for money?"
HER - "Haih... I want to help these kids... I wanted to be a doctor or a nurse but my results very poor one... Maybe this way I can help lo..."
ME - "What should I do to help leh?"
HER - "Give money for donation lo..."
I pon sedekahlah sikit. Dia pon kluarkan resit minta nama & tandatangan. I pon ckp lah xperlulah smua tu yg penting ikhlas.
HER - "Thank you ar sir, you're cute..."
ME - "Erkk... Ye lah tu... All da best to you..."
Then, "Attention to all passengers for flight ****** , please proceed to the gate P** for immediate boarding. Thank you."
Beramal lah sementara kita masih sihat. Tak kisahlah nilai amalan itu tinggi ke rendah, yg penting ikhlas mahu membantu.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
That traditional-embroidered white dress sparkles like the midnight stars.
Among the others, she shines like a full moon.
Sitting on that magnificent throne, she's man's most desired pageant queen ever.
Family, friends and acquaintances line up like the marching soldiers to convey their best wishes.
Kids and toddlers enjoy it as much as the adults do.
They get the chance to socialize and the main attraction, free sweets and mouth-watering meals.
She's on pins and needles,
Adrenaline rushes through her veins. Is this the right thing to do?
Noticing that she gets very jittery with things around her,
He throws his hands on hers,
Fondling those timid little fingers,
"I can guarantee we'll have tough times. I guarantee that at some point - one or both of us will want to get out. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine, I'll regret it for the rest of my life, 'cause I know in my heart you're the only one for me. " (adapted from a movie - Runaway Bride).
For once, she felt safe and sure.
She knows it, this is the best choice in her life to be made.
No more doubts and questions,
Who says he's not worth it?
Who says he's not perfect?
Maybe he's not a prince charming on a white horse,
nor a wealthy guy with big cars and gigantic houses,
But, to her, he's good enough.
So don't be afraid, stand out in the crowd and make a difference!