Thursday, March 4, 2010

The road taken...

I've never been so depressed until this week,
This whole week is like a living torture chamber,
Tests, assignments, trips, and so on,
and I still dunno which path will all these leading me to.
Lacking of time to rest maybe the biggest contributor to my lameness in class,
I tried to concentrate more by sitting in the front but fruiting nothing, or even worse,
Haiz, is this what life suppose to be?
Works, works, works, works and works?
Am I suppose to regret? or is this how we learn to be stronger and determined?

A kind friend of mine, motivated me in her own way, sharing thoughts and experiences,
Elevated my motivation a bit.
Stay strong and keep holding on, thats she said.
"If u giving up, then what do you expect from us?"
"Dun be silly, we'll loose our grips too without you."
Really heart-touching and motivating.

I never regret to end up in the path that I take right now,
I never repent to be away from the one I love,
But I do feel sorry for myself because I'm not ready to do big things while others are,
All these time I said to myself not to believe in others too much,
And now, it's all coming back to me.
How can they believe in me if I'm not sure myself what to do.

Remorse, depress, stress, and self-demotivate come to me,
Just like an instant 4-in-one coffee, blending into aromas,
sweet and thick but poisonous yet paralyzing.

And a problem is not yet finished,
here comes another one, chaining my flexibility and freedom,
people maybe cant see it but Im feeling the big impact it gives.
My study sucks, my head burns, my chest pains,
and my mind is contaminated with all kinds of foul words that I can hardly express them out.

What to do, you are the chosen one as they said,
shoulder this pain and you get better gain,
Just need time to sleep I think,
Hopefully a good tomorrow morning will be the best remedy,
Seeing these "pushers" and high demanders with a face of a sweettooth toddler...

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